Toothbrush

Tiny Moustache Toothbrush just looks like he's going to clean your teeth better, doesn't he?  Plaque beware...this brush o' the teef means business!  Gingivitis has nowhere to hide when TMT rolls into your mouth town!  

So, I'm a big fan of dental hygiene and as you can probably tell, since I love my toothbrush so much I gave it a tiny moustache, that I am not British (oh, snap!).  I also am a big fan of things (food, drink, what have you) that are available to us in unexpected forms.  Some of you might remember a lengthy (some say hilarious) short story I once wrote on the wonders of Yoplait Whips...whipped yogurt?! Delicious and texturally confusing!  Some others of you might remember that in college I was known to make the best and largest quantities (more than 1,000 at one time I shit you not) of Jell-O shots ever recorded in New Jersey history...it's Jell-O...it's a booze shot...it's solid yet wiggling and it gets you super drunk at the Holiday Ball!  These fun types of juxtapositions seem to fascinate me.  If I ate gross processed junk foods I would probably be obsessed with things like Easy Cheese (cheese from an aerosol can...brilliant!) and that weird peanut butter and jelly combination jar (why waste precious sandwich making time with opening and closing two jars?!) but thankfully my Mom raised me right and I can proudly say I've never tasted either.  If any of my readers care to elaborate on their (if any) pros and cons in the comments section below...feel free.

Recently I stumbled upon a brand-new one that will blow your mind and mouth simultaneously.  That may have sounded naughty and/or dirty and I equally apologize and/or kind of liked it.  This new Product In An Unusual Form (PIAUF) is not even from the grocer's aisles nor did it appear to me at a restaurant or a bar.  This new wonder of science, technology and teeth wizardry (new class at Hogwart's) caught my eye at Walgreen's.  It's called Aquafresh Iso-Active and mark my words...toothpastery will never be the same!  Basically it is toothpaste in a petite shaving cream can.  And it comes out onto your toothbrush looking like shave gel.  And it kind of smells like shave gel.  And at first it kind of tastes like you're brushing your teeth with shave gel.  But then, it transforms...it...transcends!  All of a sudden your whole mouth sings as it is enveloped in a foam explosion! I know it looks like I have a weird thing for exclamation points but there is just no other way to convey the wintergreen glory of Aquafresh Iso-Active.  The whole experience is at once odd, confusing, overwhelmingly foam-tastic and exhilaratingly awesome.  You end up with so much teeth and gum scrubbing foam in your mouth it feels like you ate 11 marshmallows and they imploded, all the while having the most fun brushing your teeth you've had in a mighty long time.  Then you rinse and...voila! The single most clean teeth storing area your face could ever ask for.

Some might accuse me of hyperbole here, and I do get excited over new things...but, toothpaste?  I've never been someone that really cares that much which brand or what flavor until now.  Trust me, friends...get yourself to a store and grab some Aquafresh Iso-Active and let the foam party begin...kind of like Spring Break Cancun for your mouth but with a no-STD guarantee.  Remember, it's a PIAUF....so just be sure you don't actually brush your teeth with Skintimates instead.